Chuck Norris Facts, Part 1

- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink.
- Chuck Norris don’t believe in Germany.
- Chuck Norris can taste lies.
- Chuck Norris was in a knife fight once, the knife lost.
- Godzilla was a documentary about Chuck Norris’ first visit to Japan.
- Chuck Norris’ penis has a Hemi
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
- Chuck Norris can devide by zero.
- Contrary to pouplar belief, there IS enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer.  You will score 8000 points.
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils his water with his own rage.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes, he accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass…at night.
- The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris & Friends”.
- Chuck Norris was What Willis Was Talkin’ About.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by it’s cover.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
- The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
- Chuck Norris uses 8 x 10 sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
- 182,000 Americans die each year from Chuck Norris related accidents.
- Most people feart the Reaper, Chuck Norris considers him “a promising rookie”.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- Chuck Norris can get blackjack with just one card.
- Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
- Chuck Norris’ sweat can burn holes in concrete.
- Earth’s emergency defense plan in case of an alien invasion is called Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris invented the question mark.
- Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.
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