Two old ladies, Sunny and Tina, were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain.
Tina pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Sunny: “What’s that?”
Tina: “A condom.”
Sunny: “Where’d you get it?”
Tina: “You can get them at any chemist”
The next day, Sunny hobbled into [...]
Archive for April, 2007
The Nursing Home
Posted in Uncategorized on April 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Did You Know? 04-30-07
Posted in Uncategorized on April 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The lion costume in The Wizard of Oz was made from real lions
The Himalayas cover 1/10th of the Earths surface.
The inventor of the flushing toilet was named Thomas Crapper
The average chocolate bars has 8 insect legs in it.
During World War II, IBM built the computers the Nazis used to manage their concentration camps.
Hall of Fame: Nintendo
Posted in Hall of Fame on April 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
There was a new sheriff in video game town back in the mid-80’s, and its name was Nintendo. But unless you spent the latter half of the 1980’s hidden in a cave on Fiji, you already knew that. The word “Nintendo” replaced “Atari” as a synonym for video games back in those days, and that [...]
If Bill Gates Was a Redneck
Posted in Redneck Life on April 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle
Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with duct Tape and a Hefty Bag
Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
The Recycle Bin in Winders’95 [...]
Biggest Busts in NFL Draft History
Posted in Uncategorized on April 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
For every draft selection that goes on to be a hero for his team, 10 more fade into obscurity. Still others achieve infamy through overhype and underperformance. Onion Sports remembers some of the worst:
Brett Favre: In his entire career thus far, this second-round pick has not yet blocked a single field-goal attempt
Sammie Smith: Right after [...]
Do You Remember CB Radios?
Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
“10-4, good buddy.” “Smokies.” “Pregnant roller skate.” These phrases may sound foreign to those born in the age of cellular phones, but in the mid-seventies these phrases clearly meant “I understand,” “police,” and “Volkswagen.” This lingo became popular with the emergence of the CB radio.
The Citizens Band Radio was introduced in the [...]
Redneck Pictures
Posted in Funny Pictures, Redneck Life on April 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The First Wet T-Shirt Contest
Posted in Uncategorized on April 24, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
The first wet t-shirt contest took place in January at a ski resort in Idaho. In 1969, a sales rep for a company called K2 hired a filmmaker to shoot some footage of professional skiers “hotdogging” on the slopes in Sun Valley. The 12-minute film was used as a promotional tool to sell K2’s new line [...]
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted in Uncategorized on April 24, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
1. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris
2. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete.
3. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Redneck Engineering Exam
Posted in Redneck Life on April 24, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) ‘66 Ford Fairlane b) ‘69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) ‘64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates [...]
Top Ten Sidekicks
Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
#10: Arthur (The Tick)
If you’re a certified accountant in a rabbit—sorry, moth—suit you can’t really complain that you play second fiddle to a borderline retard in a blue tick costume. Still, Arthur proves time and time again that what he lacks in self-confidence he more than makes up for in…really big wings.
#9: Kato (Green Hornet)
Nothing [...]
Taxi Incident
Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver [...]
Sunday Comics for Apr. 22
Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
This Week in History 4/22-4/29
Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
April 22, 1970: The First Earth Day
Earth Day, an event to increase public awareness of the world’s environmental problems, is celebrated in the United States for the first time. Millions of Americans, including students from thousands of colleges and universities, participated in rallies, marches, and educational programs.
Getting a Haircut
Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks “Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber look around the shop and says “about 2 hours,” and the guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks…”how long before I can get a [...]
